I'm writing this from my bathroom.
Yes, I'm tying to fire a wild doo doo missile at the moment
I hate when a nothing close to sexy bitch, wears very sexy clothing
If you ask me a question that starts with "Why Ain't..." Do You Be Got...or "When Do That..." Please know I will never ever answer you.
Don't you hate when you gotta shit right after a got damn shower?
FYI, if your GF/Wife don't swallow, she don't love you.
Verizon Fios is the shit.
Certain Music you don't blast loud from ur whip in the hood... "Elton John - Im still standing" is definitely one of them.
Is it me or does Kanye West look outright depressed and out of place in 94.3% of his pictures?
FYI, if your GF/Wife never let's you nut on her, she don't love you.
I want a DVR box that skips commercials
The most worthless shit ever in the history of shit parents think their kids like, is them stupid ass vehicle rides that be outside stores for like 50 cents
Kids this generation got so much cool shit, you think a stationery plane that rumbles back and forth is gonna excite them?, Nigga please, fuck 50 cents, I'll shake the shit out of them and throw em into the middle of street for less
I wanna roundhouse kick the shit out of a kid while they ride past me on a tricycle
If you ain't never picked a bitch up with one arm and swung her onto the bed, you aint living life right
I hate niggas who post pics on the net be all happy bout acquiring a shoe and then next month you see them selling the same shoe.
Niggas be buying whats hyped, just to say they have it, then end up selling it off just to buy some new hyped shit.
If the first thing I see when I come over your house is a can of raid on the counter, I'm not coming in.
FYI, if your GF/Wife, holds your nut in her mouth and goes to the bathroom to spit it out, she don't love you.
You ain't bout shit if you never gave or plan to give your children frosted strawberry pop tarts
If I ever serve my child unfrosted strawberry pop tarts, I'll give them a Free kick me in the nuts pass
I wanna break an ironing board over a mule's back.
I think mule's are pointless animals, they don't do shit but carry baskets of vegetables and fruits around in hot international countries.
FYI, if your GF/Wife never let you smash raw even just for 5 pumps, she don't love you.
The next muthafucka I see eating a personal pie pizza, I'm a spit on their food.
I hate personal pie pizza's, saying that shit outloud sounds like some creepy introverted type shit, like no one can see or talk about this shit cept the eater, then you get a pepperoni joint and its like one pepperoni per slice, fuck a personal pie pizza
FYI, if your GF/Wife never played with your balls, she don't love you.
If you ain't never slapped a random chick's ass while she casually walks by you in the street, you haven't fully lived life
If you put ice in your milk, I'm a automatically assume you own an advanced copy of Drake's greatest non-rapping hits on your Ipod and you like to be punched in the face.
Why Michael Jordan eyes look like yellowed ice soles?
Females, If for any reason when you wear spandex and it's baggy around the ass area, don't leave your house and change clothes, that doesn't mean change clothes and THEN you can come out, that means take them fucking spandex off, change clothes and stay in your fucking room forever, bitch, don't come out to pee, nothing.
I wanna beam a roll of toilet tissue at someone's nose so hard it breaks in two places.
Next time ur in a supermarket, check two aisles over to see if it's crowded, go two aisles away and throw a roll a paper towel over the aisles and listen close for people's reaction..it's hilarious
The only homosexual I still dislike is Paul Pierce
FYI, if you GF/Wife turns down Hand Sanitizer while y'all out in the street, she don't love you.
I swear niggas with braids or baby dreads are equivalent to the cast of Book of Eli, let em go.
Seriously, who the fuck let Xzibit into a studio to record a full length album, do niggas care about losing money?
That Gangnam Style nigga needs to be dealt with, I dunno where this nigga came from or what his status is with the Tri-ads, this nigga need to be slapped like Sanna Lathan did in the Family That Preys movie, I'm talking a right handed slap so viscious my nigga, when the slap movement is over you end up hitting the left side of your ribs
FYI, if your GF/Wife has never teeth scraped your dick, she a hoe.