So my birthday is in 11 days,(yeah, I have a birthday bitch, just because I'm like the most ultimate supreme being of all things that's are unfuckwithable, doesn't mean I don't have a birth date, you vile specimen of shit crumbs) Anyways like I was saying it's in 11 days, so since I do so much for so many ppl in my life, I feel it's only right I fucking get some appreciation shown for my efforts of unselfishness and all around greatness, so here goes...
If you're a broke muthafucka, only thing you can possibly do that I deem worthy is wish me "Happy Birthday"
If you're a broke muthafucka that's a female with a fatty and a nice face, you can offer your Vagina.(not that I would smash you because I already got some ill vagina on deck from my girl, but the offer is worthy you know?)
Okay now if you wanna buy me shit (which is totally fucking welcome, believe me I'll snatch it out ur hand with the quickness, mahfucka) Please feel free to cop me the following.
1) 6 shelf chrome storage rack
2) Pair of size 10.5 or 11 Air Jordan VI Carmines (extremely icey)
3) Pair of size 10.5 Nike Dunk High Fragments (Purple & Black)
4) Church Socks (yeah I said church socks, bitch)
5) Canon T2i Camera or anything along that line.
6) The Assassination of Paul Pierce or Mark Ruffalo (either is fine, if you can kill both with one bullet, would be the best Birthday Gift ever)
7) A 3-some (with myself of course) with Bubbles and My girl. (I dunno if she'd be down for that, but I assume since I'm her papi and she'd wanna make me happy, she'd be down)
8) Motorola Droid Bionic
9) A Baby Tiger (yes, a fucking tiger, I want Tony Jaa and Donnie yen to train it, I will name it "Ask About Me")
10) A written statement from Michael Jordan saying Jordan Brand is fucking up quality wise and that Randy Brown was the best player he ever played with (Black Ink, please)
11) A 1995ish version of Jennifer Tilly that I can motorboat.
12) Hire Maliah Michel to stand over my face butt ass naked and do the "Drake hop back and forth while I shake my hand dance" to a continuous loop of Luke's-I wanna rock (Doo Doo Brown) until I'm done masturbating
13) Force Nike @ Gunpoint to make 3 pairs of the Nike Air Unlimiteds in the White/Black/Teal colorway only for me.
14) The hanging of Will.I.Am
I think that's it, I'm not asking for too much...Am I?